I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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