I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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