Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Randomize
