ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Is Oprah even human
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
