I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize