now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
