I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
