I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
