Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize