Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize