she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
