I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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