wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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