Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
