I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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