I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
