On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Last time i carry you out of a forest
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
