You're so nebulous sometimes
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
