Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
