YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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