I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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