do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
