Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
