why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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