they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
