I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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