Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize