Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
this just has baby written all over it
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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