never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He better not be in your backpack
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
