there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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