I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
