These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
