Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my sisters under your porch take her home
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
