Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
where does the pee come out of this thing
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I need to wash the frat house off of me
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
