There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
