Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize