Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We left an ass print on the piano.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
