I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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