Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
