then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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