who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
