there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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