glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
handjob tips. give me some.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize