So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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