mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
