You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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