so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
