Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I will be naked everywhere
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
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