Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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