When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Is Oprah even human
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
