I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
It's Friday. Sex?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
