saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize