Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
