i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
