He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
