I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
