I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
