she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just high enough for therapy.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
