Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
high people should be assigned attendants
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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