Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
