Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize