yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
