Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
