I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
