i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
