i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
