Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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