jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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