I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize