Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
