using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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