You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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