wat bout pragnant strippers??
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize