You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
