im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
