He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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