he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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