That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
