Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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