if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
