Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize