You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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