Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
