this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
