yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
