I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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