FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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